The Republic of Meat and Mead (Prague, Czech Republic)

Prague is a fairy-tale looking city that is all about eating fatty meat and drinking beer. I had to have put some weight back on here.

From Warsaw I got a 10hr bus to Prague, passing some great snow covered scenery and several idyllic, small villiages with mediaeval looking townscapes and steep, pointy rooftops, necessary to prevent a ceiling collapse when it snows this much.

I had five nights in Prague to get to know it. This picturesque city is the capital of Czech republic, former capital of Czechslovakia, former capital of Bohemia. The reason it is so nice is that it didn’t have the shit bombed out of it in the wars. A nice river runs through the middle of the city, and on a rise on the left bank sits the biggest mediaeval castle in Europe. There’s also nice town squares, bridges and unique architecture.

I got especially luckily because it snowed  a couple of times during my stay and turned the whole city into something out of Christmas fantasy.

The sad side of all this glory is that it is very touristy. The old town is lined with shop after shop of tacky souvenirs, with dumbass tourists who have just a day here spending all their time looking at junk instead of exploring the cool parts of the city. There is a Hooters, and a TGI Fridays, and if you want something even more authentic be sure to visit the restaurant off the main square that is named ‘Typical Czech Restaurant.’ 

Did someone say beer?

Prague is, according to Anthony Bourdain, the world capital of beer. The Pilsner Urquell is the hottest beer in town, and it literally translates to ‘original pilsner.’ It has been brewed and drunk in these parts since 1842. It’s a fact that nine out of ten beers produced and consumed in the world are derived from this original Pilsen beer.

Other beers that I took the time to familiarise myself with were the original Budweiser, one called Gambrinus (my personal favourite), the non-alcoholic beer, and even a cannabis beer (no, it doesn’t get you high). I know it sounds like a cliché, like when I said the Russian vodka was the best I’d ever had (it was!), but these beers were just so good. I’ve had beers all over the world now, from Mongolia to Malta, but the pilsners of Prague are the only ones I consciously savoured.

Prague also has a big absinth heritage and following, with shops all over town offering the spirit that is so strong it’s said that if you drink enough you’ll hallucinate and see a green fairy. Drinking beers alone in laid back pubs was where I drew the line - I wasn’t about to start doing shots of absinth by myself.

So how would you accompany such fine beer? That would be with food, or should I say, meat.

The food highlight for me was the ‘pig knee.’ Think endless moist meat falling off the bone. Oh, and lots of thick blubbery fat. Some people leave this part to the side. Not me. Put some mustard and horse radish with it all, half a cherry tomato and a couple of chillis and you have a feast fit for a mediaeval king. The first night I finished it and said to myself it was good but I didn’t need to put myself through that again; it was a challenge – took me 45 minutes and lots of sweating to finish.  Three nights later I went back and did it all over again.

Hotdogs are also something of an institution here. And I’m not talking frankfurts. I’m talking big, fat meaty sausage, several varieties of which you have on a bun with sourcrout, mustard and curry ketchup. With these ones, it’s not the sauce that runs down your fingers, it’s the bubbling fat from when you puncture the tough skin of the sausage. Oh yeah! There are street vendors selling them everywhere, and it’s cool to see the sausages hanging up. It’s Prague street food.

I also liked the chicken with cheese sauce and classic goulash with bread dumplings. Notice the absence of vegetables?

 

Prague was a nice way to say goodbye to Europe. Who knows when ill be back, ten, maybe twenty years? I left Prague and got on a plane to fly over the Atlantic, to start the next stage of my trip.