Classic or Cliché? (France, Part 2)

Paris, the biggest tourist destination in the whole world. It is, with New York, the most celebrated city on earth.   I couldn’t tell if I was going to love or hate it, but I knew I was going to feel something when I got there. Of all the things we did in Paris, I’ve decided what is tourist trappy cliché, and what is undeniably classic:

The EIFFEL TOWER

This is the most famous building in the world, and seeing it is person is pretty amazing - partly because of the size and style of the structure, but also because of how often it appears in pop culture and then suddenly it’s right there in front of you for real.

Sure, most Parisians haven’t been up it since they were kids, but it is without a doubt the biggest symbol of Paris, and something that sits, has always and will forever sit, in the background of daily life here.  

Eiffel Tower…CLASSIC

THE LOUVRE

We were there when it opened and made a B line for the Mona Lisa, hearing about how crowded it gets. It was just us and a few other people, so we certainly got a good look – as good as you can five metres away and from behind two panes of what I assume was bullet proof glass. It wasn’t long before the few people swelled into a big crowd and I was glad that we had soaked it in in the few moments we had with it.

Yeah, it was okay. But completely overhyped. Certainly wasn’t my favourite piece.

We spent 3.5 hours in the Louvre and it was the highlight of Paris for me. The still life paintings capturing European life of old were particularly cool, and I could of gone back day after day had I the time and money. The art itself, as well as the endless rooms and beauty of the museum, totally blew my mind.

Mona Lisa…CLICHÉ, but the Louvre in whole…CLASSIC

MOULIN ROUGE

Everybody has heard of the Moulin Rouge. It used to be the hottest place in the city, a burlesque show that drew the rich and the famous from all over Europe. It used to be edgy and exciting, and somewhat stylish. Now it seems to be nothing more than a tacky caricature of its former self, geared entirely towards tourists. Boo.

It’s the least seedy part of the seedy red light district filled with sex shops and peep shows. There’s even a Starbucks right across from it for god’s sake.

There are other nearby venues doing burlesque shows, all claiming to be the more authentic version, but I doubt you’d find single local in any of them.

Moulin Rouge…CLICHÉ

 

LOVERS BRIDGE

This is a bridge whose wire fencing has been completely filled up with padlocks, most of which have the names of two lovers. The thing to do is go there with a lover, lock the padlock on together and throw the key in the river Siene, thus locking your love together forever.

It’s a shame that these are regularly cut off or trimmed by the local council because the bridge wasn’t designed to take that sort of extra weight. Kinda makes the whole thing seem superficial and pointless. (No self-respecting Parisian would be caught dead putting a padlock on). But sometimes a cliché like this can be fun, so me and Rin put a padlock on, threw the key in the river, and left instructions for Mum and Dad to come find when they rock up in Paris in a few months.

Lovers Bridge…CLICHÉ (but in a good way)

THE ARC DE TROMPHE

The Arc de Trompe was built by Napoleon to welcome his soldiers back into the city, and it’s one of the city icons. The fact that its covered with people taking photo’s isn’t a turn on, but it is somewhat impressive as a structure, and instead of being isolated for preservation it is at the centre of one of the cities busiest round about at the top of a long avenue.

Arc de Tromphe…CLASSIC

FRENCH CUISINE

We ate well is France, but especially Paris. It is considered one of the top cuisines in the world. Yes, it was expensive, but thats just Paris. The food was quality and eating in the little bistros was nice. We tried duck in many different ways (we ordered it in every restaurant we went to in France), onion soup, fois gras, casserole, and good old steak frites. We even bought some nice cheese, only to bin it thinking it was off. Then we ordered the exact same thing after our meal one night at a bistro, and it stunk just as bad. Turns out the cheese we threw out wasn’t off, it was just living up to the French reputation for stinky cheese.

In addition to the fancy stuff, we ate plenty of banquets and croissants, macaroons and éclairs.

French Cuisine…CLASSIC

 

SACRED HEART

This cathedral sits on a hill overlooking the city, and houses some great mosaic works. It’s the first thing we did when arriving into town, and just as we made it up the hill the sun came out and shone on it with a  rainbow in the background, as if the old dude in the sky with the bushy beard was welcoming us.

Sacred Heart…CLASSIC

 

THE NOTRE DAM

I gotta say, this one was a disappointment. I guess I was expecting something epic, something that lived up to the impossible reputation. But truthfully, I’ve seen more impressive cathedrals in most European countries I’ve been two (even other towns in France). Instead I have put a photo of another part of the city.

At least it was free.

Notre Dame…CLICHÉ


PARIS

Paris overall was a hoot. I never intended or expected to come here on my travels. But now that I have I understand what all the fuss is about, I get it. This city has so much soul, so much distinct personality, that not even hordes of tourists have been able to corrode its character. Paris is a classic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Japan of Europe (France, Part 1)

20 minutes over the border from Spain and the grass was literally greener. The landscape seemed more idyllic. It sounds too good to be true. But this was France, and France is France.

The way I characterise France in my head is this; it’s the Japan of Europe. The most elegant, progressive, got-their shit-together, scenic, idyllic, fashionable, cultured and yes, a little bit elitist and snobby, country of their continent.  Like japan, it has distinct culture recognised the world over, and is a powerhouse in global politics and economy.  People live with grace here.

Toulouse was our first stop. It was a city in the guise of a town, and was perched neatly next to a river that was so still you could see the sky reflected off it. Some locals sat down by the rivers edge at dusk, while others had drinks at cool little bistros.

It was in Toulouse that we went to a restaurant and ordered duck; starting the trend of ordering duck (at least one of us) at every single restaurant we went to in France.

Next was Bordeaux, famous for the surrounding vineyards. Bordeaux comes from Bordeaux, like Port from Porto. It is the industry which led to the establishment of the city, and is a primary industry today. Of course we had to try some.

We also had some macaroons, the famous French sweet. We started off with ‘Lavender and Peach’, tried ‘Avacado and Balsamic Vinegar,’ and also, ‘Salted Caramae and Ginger,’ but the best was ‘Passionfruit and Chocolate.’ There was even a salmon flavoured one, but we kept well clear of it.

Here we spoke to girl, not much older than Rin and I, who was a true wine expert. She told us the oldest drop she’d had the pleasure of tasting was a Bordeaux from 1947.

This was just the beginning of my discovery of how much these French folks know food, wine, music and literature.

In Portiers, we rented a room in the house a young couple. He was a professor at the local university and she was a singer who travelled around France to perform. It was such a great experience being able to live with them briefly. They had pack bookshelves with proper writers (no crime fiction), practiced piano during the evenings, and spoke about movies in terms of the director not the title. One night we had dinner with Nimo, the professor, because Juliette was in Paris for an audition. We had a great time chatting with him about everything from travel to science, writers to religion. He is a member of the Skeptics Society, who put the scientific theory as humanities crowning achievement, and offer 1 million dollars to anyone who can use it to prove anything supernatural, fortune telling, hypnotism (the act like a chicken type) and astrology. Furthermore, this group isn’t shy about attacking what they think are the immoral and consequential aspects of superstitions, such as the Anti-Vaccination movement, homeopathy and religious fundamentalism.

Nima was a fun and smart guy, and sleepy Portiers was a nice contrast to the big cities in France. We spent our days going to produce markets, walking along the river, and wandering through the old town, which had some great original medieval buildings.

But this was just the beginning. We were on our way to Paris…

 

 

 

 

For the Love of God and Pork - and Rin (Spain)

 

Back into Spain and we weren’t wasting time. We had been in Salamanca only a couple of hours and we were already in a Tapas bar with a drink and a couple of plates of food. If for no other reason, Tapas is why I would come back to Spain.

Salamanca was my favourite town in Spain. It has a nice old town area with impressive cathedrals and university buildings, and has a bridge across a picturesque river that was built by the Romans in year 89 AD.

 

The Spanish are almost religious about eating pork. Its served everywhere, in all different ways; sliced off the bone, cured and sausaged, grilled and barbequed, and served whole. We saw plastic wrapped piglets in the supermarket. 

The reason they are so pork centric is in fact a religious one. Back in the days of the Spanish inquisition, it did you a whole lot of good to show that you were a devoted pork eater. The muslims and the Jews were being driven out and killed all over Spain in a big cleansing effort. And what are the Jews and the Muslims forbidden to eat?  If you had a cured ham hanging up out the front of your house it meant you were a good Christian.

And Pork is not the only steady devotion from the olden days. Christianity is stronger than ever. So much so that the government, backed heavily by the church, has just made abortion illegal after it was made legal half a century ago with the big push for women’s rights. Also, the church is publishing manuals on how to be a proper (stay at home) housewife which are somehow popular. Worst of all, the government has just banned public protest. We were told that if you swear at a cop you will get in far more trouble under this new law than if you punch him in the face. It all seems like a big step back for a country that is supposed to setting a good example for nearby developing countries.

What the hell Spain? Too much sangria?

But in Christianity’s defense, this particular religion did give rise to the most wonderful time of the year. Rin and I spent Christmas in Madrid. In our little apartment we had a Christmas tree (of sorts) and presents under it (too many for people travelling with backpacks). We made it a special day, and I certainly had the Christmas cheer. We opened presents, ate finely sliced ham and cheese in bed, called home, and wandered around the empty streets of Madrid. A memorable Christmas, but it was never going to be as good as Christmas at home.

 

Madrid itself had some great Christmas lights and decorations around town, and it has been good to be travelling around Europe at this time of year.

We went out to the coast to the city of Valencia, which has a nice old town quarter and is famous for its paella. We wandered around to see the big entry gates to city, and went up top for a view over town. We also leather tramped it out to the harbour and beach, not particularly ideal in the cold, and wandered back through a slummy area.

Another cool thing about Spain is the big Bull silhouettes by the sides of freeways.

 

Barcelona was our final stop in Spain. I was somewhat disappointed by Barcelona. Like Lisbon, it’s just a big western European city, and I couldn’t really sense that the place had a soul of its own. What it did have though was long lines of cruise ship tourists (the absolute worst) and exuberant prices for marginally interesting attractions. I don’t get what all the fuss is about for this place.

 Barcelona is said to be the world capital for pickpocketing. I folded a map and some brochures and stuffed it into my back pocket looking like a fat wallet, and after five days in the city I didn’t attract the interest of a single would be thief. This city couldn’t even live up to a bad reputation.

There were interesting things to see though, it wasn’t all a total waste of time. The produce markets, supposably among the best in Europe, were cool. The abundance of fruits, vegies, hams, sausages, cheeses, animal carcasses and skinned heads, and fresh fish were visually dazzling, and I could have walked around in there for hours just soaking it all in.

 

The Sagrada Familia, a quirky old cathedral that is still being build was also a highlight. Its world famous and most people have heard about it. It was originally designed by the architect Gaudi, and has a strange, almost fantastical design. The inside was the highlight, and looked like something out of a science fiction movie. It was just strange. I’ve put a photo of it here but the photo doesn’t mean much – you have to be in this epic room to feel its eccentric grandeur.

Things I learnt in Barcelona:

1.       Christopher Columbus was a fool who brought back natives from Latin America, walked them into the royal courts at Barcelona, and said they were from India. Now all indigenous people from Canada to Chile are called Indians. Furthermore, after his accidental discoveries, he was brought home in handcuffs and stripped of his wealth for treating the natives so bad. Douche.

2.       Barcelona is the capital of the Catalonia region. Catalonia wants independence from Spain, and on a lot of balconies in the city you can see the Catalonia flag of yellow and red stripes, with a blue triangle and star at one end, which is a call for this independence. The locals are passionate about it, they refuse other Spanish customs such as flamenco and bull fighting, and Catalonian is the official language of Barcelona, not Spanish. Catalonia could very well be its own country in the future, but there would be an interesting path to this independence because Spain has no interest in giving it up.

We had New Year’s Eve in Barcelona and went to a big square in the centre of the city to watch the fireworks. I thought to myself, what a year 2013 was. What a year 2014 is going to be!

Spain was great (except most of Barcelona), but the real highlight of this part of my trip was my travel companion. Having Christmas and New Years with Rin over here made it special. It would have been a strange and slightly sad time of year to be travelling alone, and we got lucky in that she was able to come over for it. But it wasn’t just those big days. It was all the other days we have been lucky enough to have together this year, from Turkey to Morocco, Albania to Portugal. She has been the cherry on top of my trip, and my 2013.

With a final chococlate con churros (another reason to come back to Spain), we started 2014 together, looking onward to exciting times this year in New Zealand, and more immediately, France.

EK4NZ2014

The Exhibitionist, the Studier and the Worker (Portugal)

We entered Portugal from Spain with zero fanfare. There was not even a sign to say we were in a different country, let alone immigration or customs. It was quite anticlimactic. Thanks EU.

There’s a saying Portuguese people have for the key places in their country; Lisbon shows off, Coimbra studies and Porto works. Our stay in Portugal took us to each of these towns.

1.       The Exhibitionist

Lisbon looked more like Sydney than anywhere else I had seen since leaving home. That was my first impression at least. I knew these big western European cities weren’t going to offer me anything too otherworldly, but it took me a little while to warm to Lisbon.

The city has two key faces; small winding alleys, stairs and archways, and picturesque apartment buildings, and alternatively the more modern grid set up, a comparatively boring consequence of Age of Reason town planning. We rented a great apartment in the former.

Lisbon was once the explorer’s capital of the world, and many explorers left from Lisbon’s port in the 14/15/1600’s to see what was at the furthest reaches of the world. What resulted was the colonisation of large parts of South America and even parts of Asia (such as Macau, where Rin and I went to see the Portuguese heritage last year, and even East Timor). That’s why Portuguese is the official language in 9 countries (such as Brazil) and the 7^th most common language in the world. Pretty crazy that the way people are speaking all over the world comes from a country that is so small.

 

In Lisbon we saw the famous monument to Portugal’s early explorers (up top). It was cool to see, but the funny thing about this was that Mum and Dad came here a few years ago and raved about the Christopher Columbus monument, so I was eager to see Chris in all his stone carved glory, but it turned out the monument is for a Portuguese man named Henry the Navigator. Absolutely nothing to do with Christopher Columbus, but a cool monument. (Oh those coach tours…Joke I heard is that Tour Guides lie more than Politicians or Lawyers put together.)

Here we took a ride on the trams which are iconic to the city, and visited the impressive Lisbon Cathedral. We also went to a bakery that has been making the custard tart, a Portuguese specialty, since the 1800’s. We ate custard tarts everyday in Portugal but these were by far the best.

Portugal is bankrupt. And maybe that’s why Lisbon is kinda grungy now. It isn’t the safest place, and I got offered drugs on the street as freely as in Morocco. There are homeless people sleeping on the street on subway ventilation grates.

Another thing that stood out in Portugal but especially Lisbon was the graffiti. And, it was actually pretty amazing, the best I’ve seen in the world. (Of course there was also a lot of uncreative blob letter stuff that nobody wants to look at.) Despite the grunge there was more than enough superficiality to match it, and despite the country being in debt the quality of life is still pretty dam good.

There seems to be a funny little irony in the world right now where there are poor rich countries and rich poor countries. For example, if China (Mexico, Korea, Brazil) wanted to build a super highway from one end of the country to another they could get it done quick. Probably not the case in Portugal (Greece, Spain, Ireland).

2.       The Studier

Coimbra was the antithesis to Lisbon. It is a cosy and quiet town on a river, with one of Europe’s oldest universities. The university had the old library, which was an ornate Cathedral dedicated to the faith of the written word. Very cool.

 

 

While in a supermarket here we came across piles and piles of salted cod, as you can see in the picture. This stuff stank out the whole supermarket. Salted cod is the national food of Portugal, and they can’t get enough of it (forget what you’ve heard about Peri Peri chicken ). The sad thing is, due to the stringent EU laws on food, fish in the salted and dried form is deemed unsafe for restaurant use. The supermarkets have piles of this salted fish because making it at home is the only way they can eat it.

We even managed to see The Hobbit 2 in Coimbra. We will see Hobbit 3 in the town it was filmed next year!

 

3.       The Worker

The Worker a.k.a Porto a.k.a Oporto a.k.a Port was the highlight of Portugal for both me and Erin (and Mum when she came). It’s the namesake of Portugal, and is where anything you’ve ever been unlucky enough to drink from a bottle labelled ‘Port’ comes from. The city feels more real than Lisbon probably because it’s not as touristy (there’s even a tour company called ‘We Hate Tourism Tours’) and there are still old, poor neighbourhoods perched is spectacular, central parts of the city hosting generation after generation of the same family. It had a great feel.

The dish that is the specialty of this town is called a Francechina, and is a meat, bread, egg, cheese and meat and chilli sauce dish that supposably makes the big make look healthy. Doctors say once a month absolute max. I had two in 24 hours.

 

The Portuguese, like most Europeans, are crazy about soccer. We went out to see the Porto Superdragons defeat another Portuguese team 4 – 0, nestled in amongst the blue and white of the local supporters.

The day after the soccer we got a bus headed for Spain, and once again passed over the border without even a hint of recognition.